Upon seeing some signs of lesbianism by some random female kid/teen on the street: "She's a Laurel but doesn't know it yet."
And then the next moment we start pitying her.
(Laurel: a more subtle word to replace lesbian when used in public. Please see our previous post for its origins)
Sunday, 31 March 2013
The AfterEllen Hot 100 List
http://www.afterellen.com/content/2012/06/afterellencom-hot-100-part-2-50-1
Most lesbians wish that all the women on the list were gay, especially the ones who portrayed a gay character in some series. It was a heated debate like half a decade ago whether Kate Moennig was gay as her character Shane was in the L Word.
I am sorry to deliver the news but their sexual orientation would not change your lives at all. Do lesbians really think they would have a chance with those women if they were gay? As if the only reason they are not going out with someone off that list is because they are straight? Well, whatever the reason, some of you would never even have the chance to have an autograph from any of those women.
It is also quite hypocritical of some gay women to say they do not believe in labels and then pray for their favourite celebrity to come out of the closet as a bi or gay. Sometimes you have to deal with the fact that their acting as a gay character is very good, but in real life they like to do a man.
Most lesbians wish that all the women on the list were gay, especially the ones who portrayed a gay character in some series. It was a heated debate like half a decade ago whether Kate Moennig was gay as her character Shane was in the L Word.
I am sorry to deliver the news but their sexual orientation would not change your lives at all. Do lesbians really think they would have a chance with those women if they were gay? As if the only reason they are not going out with someone off that list is because they are straight? Well, whatever the reason, some of you would never even have the chance to have an autograph from any of those women.
It is also quite hypocritical of some gay women to say they do not believe in labels and then pray for their favourite celebrity to come out of the closet as a bi or gay. Sometimes you have to deal with the fact that their acting as a gay character is very good, but in real life they like to do a man.
Saturday, 30 March 2013
Tips for Lesbians
1. Don’t be one
We know that sexual orientation is not a choice, but in case you are a bi, try to concentrate on the male population in quest for a potential partner as you have better chances in finding an attractive one.
In case you are a lesbian, I am sorry but there is a miserable life out there. You will have to learn to deal with it.
2. Don’t fall for straight girls who flirt with everyone. Cross out the idea off your mind that you might ‘turn’ someone.
3. Get yourself ready for hormone imbalance tests as the studies show that gay women are twice as likely to develop syndromes such as PCOS.
4. Don’t fantasise about having a life as fictionalised in the L Word.
We know that sexual orientation is not a choice, but in case you are a bi, try to concentrate on the male population in quest for a potential partner as you have better chances in finding an attractive one.
In case you are a lesbian, I am sorry but there is a miserable life out there. You will have to learn to deal with it.
2. Don’t fall for straight girls who flirt with everyone. Cross out the idea off your mind that you might ‘turn’ someone.
3. Get yourself ready for hormone imbalance tests as the studies show that gay women are twice as likely to develop syndromes such as PCOS.
4. Don’t fantasise about having a life as fictionalised in the L Word.
Laurels and Patricias
Sometimes we all hesitate to use the words gay or lesbian in public when we are talking with our lesbian and gay friends.
The defense mechanism we have come up with is quite simple: we substitute the words lesbian and gay (man) with Laurel and Patricia. In this way, we use the words more freely without attracting any attention from people around us, and can say stuff like “Look at her. She must be a Laurel!” with great pleasure.
The origin of Laurel comes from Laurel Holloman of TLW. As for Patricia, I still am not sure where it comes from. This post will soon be edited to clarify the origins.
edit: Patricia came from the strange depths of one gay boy’s mind who’s logic it is better not to question.
The defense mechanism we have come up with is quite simple: we substitute the words lesbian and gay (man) with Laurel and Patricia. In this way, we use the words more freely without attracting any attention from people around us, and can say stuff like “Look at her. She must be a Laurel!” with great pleasure.
The origin of Laurel comes from Laurel Holloman of TLW. As for Patricia, I still am not sure where it comes from. This post will soon be edited to clarify the origins.
edit: Patricia came from the strange depths of one gay boy’s mind who’s logic it is better not to question.
The roller coaster of being a laurel
(Laurel = new word for lesbian)
That awkward moment when you realise the girl you fancy is indeed a lesbian, but she’s going out with another girl who is more attractive/feminine/ intelligent/straight looking than you. Then you find out that the lesbian club you wanted to go to tonight, that is only on once every 3 months, is in the dodgy part of town and you have no one to go with. Happy weekend, a lesbian’s life is the best!
That awkward moment when you realise the girl you fancy is indeed a lesbian, but she’s going out with another girl who is more attractive/feminine/ intelligent/straight looking than you. Then you find out that the lesbian club you wanted to go to tonight, that is only on once every 3 months, is in the dodgy part of town and you have no one to go with. Happy weekend, a lesbian’s life is the best!
Why are 99% of lesbians ugly?
It’s such a disappointment. I always get my hopes up when I’ve been away
from the scene for a while. I imagine gay girls will look as good as
straight ones. But it’s just not the case. 99% of the time, I am
extremely disappointed. Lesbians all have something wrong with them.
They are either butch, fat, ugly, weird. Its very rare to find a lesbian
who is as nice as a straight girl. Especially in Belgium.
Being attracted to straight women
One of the things I hate most about being gay is being attracted to
straight women. Catching eye contact and wondering ‘could she be a
potential gay? Could she be turned?’. Adding her on facebook and seeing
her ‘about me’ says ‘interested in men’ is one of the biggest
heart-sinking feelings in this game called lust.
Musings on lesbianism
This blog is a pilot project for my friend and I to express our thoughts
and discoveries on the path of lesbianism. It can be a difficult road
sometimes, so we would like to put our thoughts out there into the world
and see if we can make any sense of this state of being that we find
ourselves in.
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